Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. But for a long time, I thought it was.
I thought it meant that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. I was petrified to “raise my hand” and draw attention to myself – from all the way back in elementary school through corporate meetings as an adult.
I spent most of my life this way, often asking myself, “Why was I the only person in the room who didn’t know or understand something?”
I thought everyone else had it all figured out. And I was afraid to admit that I didn’t.
Gosh, I put a lot of pressure on myself trying to be perfect.
I was somehow able to make this work for me throughout most of my life – until I got divorced. When that happened, I was so full of shame and worry about judgment from others that I tried to go it alone. Debilitating fear left me feeling like a caged animal, trapped with no options to escape my own prison of fear.
But I finally realized that there was no way I was going to survive like that. And it was ok to share my struggle. And ask for help.
I set out on a journey of self-exploration. I read many books, went to therapy and took a few on-line courses. They were all helpful but the game changer was when I began working with a coach to help me navigate this new path.
What I learned was that I had limiting shadow beliefs of “I’m not good enough” and “I’m alone” (things I still work on) that were running in the background of my mind and were keeping me trapped in that cage. I also saw where I was giving away my power and not taking responsibility in my relationships.
I dove in and did some deep transformational work around those beliefs. I learned that seeking help was actually the most courageous, empowering step I could take.
And that’s when I found the key to unlock the door of the prison that I had created.
I also learned that there is so much support available, whether it’s a trusted friend or a professional therapist or coach. People want to help and you will find that when you step into vulnerability, others will feel safe to share their similar struggles. And then you realize that you’re not so alone.
- Identify one area of your life that feels less than optimal. Examples include your primary relationship (partner), secondary relationships (friends and family), health, finances, career, spirituality, fun and leisure.
- On a scale of 1-10, how would you rank your satisfaction in this area?
- Journal about what this area would look like if it was a 10. Be very specific with how it would look and feel.
- Identify one action step you can take this week to feel supported in increasing your satisfaction in this area.
- Put it in your calendar and take that action!
- Expect miracles.
There is power in asking for help!
Do you have a difficult time asking for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts – please share in the comments below.
With love and gratitude,
P.S. Please share this post with someone you love. It may be just the thing they need to hear today.
P.P.S. Curious about working together? I can help you reach that 10! Contact me to schedule a complimentary “Goodbye, Heartache, Hello, Joy! Coaching session to free yourself from your self-imposed cage. I promise you, freedom is waiting for you on the outside!