Are you excited for the holidays or feeling a sense of dread? The holidays can be a magical time of year but also a painful time when going through the relationship trauma of breakup or divorce.
Your holiday traditions suddenly look very different. You now need to juggle your kids’ schedule with your ex and you may end up spending some holidays alone.
I’ve been there. And yes, it sucks.
Many years ago, my kids were spending Christmas Eve with their dad and I was feeling the sadness of not being with them.
I decided to go to the mall to get a few last minute things – for ME. Yes, I needed a bit of self-love and care. And, as much as I dislike going to the mall on Christmas Eve, it felt good to surround myself with people instead of hiding at home and feeing sorry for myself.
As I was checking out at a store, I chatted with the young sales women and mentioned that I hoped she was finishing work soon. She told me about her plans to meet up with her parents and extended family once the store closed.
She then asked what I was doing and I told her that I didn’t have plans as my kids were with their dad.
And then, something miraculous happened.
She graciously invited me, a complete stranger, to join her family’s celebration, telling me that no one should be alone on Christmas Eve.
I was so touched by her generosity. Thinking about that moment still brings me tears.
So, if you are missing your kids or other family members this year, I invite you to practice some self-care, whatever that means for you.
- Perhaps you can:
- Get a massage or pedicure
- Light a candle and read a book that has been on your must-read list
- Binge watch your favorite tv series
- Soak in a hot tub
- Try a new recipe
Take advantage of some ME time and indulge in something that you normally wouldn’t or don’t have time to do.
- Reach out to a friend and share that you are alone. Most people are thrilled to include you in their holiday plans but don’t if they aren’t aware of your situation
- Find a volunteer opportunity to bring joy to someone less fortunate
- Buy a coffee for the person behind you in line and see how the act of giving lifts your spirits
I’d love to hear how you plan to practice self-care and turn Gingy’s (your) sadness into joy this holiday season! Please share in the comments below.